To: Me

When you can hear your voice no more,

When all you think you can do is weep,

 When you cannot write even a single word,

When you want to stop hearing everybody,

When you are ready to open up,

When you even refuse to eat,

When you want to climb up high,

When you think this is all what life can offer,

When you are about to give up,

Breathe.

vickydizon

Me. In Two Colors.

IG: vckydzn

"Green is a smart choice—good for an imaginary girl or an imaginary boy. And the season isn’t at all relevant with imaginary children"
- Rainbow Rowell, Attachments

"What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again."
- Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

vickydizon

Miserable

No. Not seriously miserable.

But I am in the period where after laughing, I cry. After eating too much, I lose appetite for days. After being so sure, I forget. I am in the period when there is no certain things that's happening or going to happen.

I am currently in the period where either I take everything I hear literally or read between their lines. And eventually hurt myself. I am in the period where I can cut everything out of my life and still feel dumb. Or lose someone and bleed.

I hate this feeling and it will never stop until I get to tear more than I am used to do.

Reasons for crying yesterday:

1. I went to school for nothing.

2. A girl appreciated my doodle art for her.

3. A guy told me I was cute.

4. A guy told me he forgot my flashdrive with my favorite series on it.

5. A guy took picture of me.

6. I did not get a kiss.

All nonsense.

Then I stopped crying:

1. The guy who said I was cute gave me an ice cream.

2. The guy who forgot my flashdrive did not really forgot it.

And I laughed. Hard.

1. I teased a guy and called him "Shelly".

Today I was with my girl friends. I was happy. I guess. Then had dinner with a guy I used to like and who used to like me too (I guess). Then went home only to see my bestfriend while I was on the van going home. I tried to call him, he looked at my direction but he probably didn't see me with his poor eyesight. Then I received a message that made me want to go back to Manila. But I didn't.

I was too exhausted to move.

I want to be both alone and not. I want to be with someone who will make me cry but I want to cry alone. I want to cry for real. I want to cry with a reason. And I want to get real with my reasons. 

I don't want to cry because of a bag full of contained feelings, again. But that is what will probably happen soon.

vickydizon

B&W

IG: vckydzn

This place would always remind me of both my childhood and my college life. This is where I get to hang out with few of my Baha'i friends. This is where I hang out with my college best friends. This is where I usually stay. The only place I learned to love in Manila. (I was always here since I was 6 or 7) This is where I eat a lot. Oh lord. The most 'romantic' place for me. HAHA!

Post-Script: A b&w photo for a supposed-to-be dramatic post.

vickydizon

I Cried Silently

I saw everyone.

I saw you.

I saw myself.

Far from this place.

Am I ready?

vickydizon

Captured Beauty

image taken using Sony Xperia J and ten-inch Dobsonian Telescope 1200mm

vickydizon

Carpe Diem

Graduate.

Serve the Faith. 

Go out of town with Steff, Gerard and Lyan. 

Go to Boracay with Ate Shiraz, Kuya Brian and Blair.

Finish reading Harry Potter series. 

Buy Dobsonian Telescope. 

See the Milky Way.

Seriously watch Meteor Showers.

Save money!!!

vickydizon